Pride, virtue or sin in love?

In love relationships, you show the most vulnerable side of you – most loving, sensitive, gentle, and passionate than you could ever imagine you could be. The same vulnerability can intensify the pride in you. The problem is that excessive pride can be reflected into negative behaviours. Therefore, if you want to have a happy relationship, you can choose to use the positive side of pride.

Pride is a human emotion with many definitions based on how proud people behave. When pride is “the feeling that you respect yourself and you deserve to be respected by other people” or “a feeling of happiness that you get when you or someone you know does something good or difficult“, the consequences are positive. You are confident, hard-working and an example for others.

Maybe this is the type of pride that ancient Greeks had in mind when they classified pride as “the crown of virtues“. A proud man was worthy of great things.

At the same time, pride can be “a feeling that you are more important or better than other people“, in which case it is associated with conceit, vanity and disdain. This type of pride is considered in Christianity, “the deadliest of the Seven deadly sins!“.

I believe it’s good to have pride – provided you are able to moderate it and use it for the purpose of your personal growth. Pride in moderation can make you feel good about who you are, fuel your self-esteem and confidence. It can motivate you to achieve and to create while maintaining your sense of modesty. The mix of pride and modesty results in accomplishments reached because you want to live a meaningful life, and not because you want to show off.

For the sake of the happiness in love relationship, it’s important to be aware of your pride – when to unleash it and when to muffle it. Most of the times, putting each other down and replying to insults with other insults is a short-term solution, spun in the heat of the debate. But, in the long run, the love can disappear.

I’ve experienced such romances where I forgave harsh words, I gave yet another chance until the drop of pride left in me shouted, “Move on with your life!”. I’ve been saved by the feeling, “Because you’re worth it!”, just like they say in the L’Oreal ads.

The time came for good romance as well when patience was needed to let the relationship breathe. Yet, my pride shattered the joy of feeling pure love. My pride compelled me to push the relationship where I thought I wanted it to be. This of course caused a lot of conflicts.

After sleepless nights, heartaches and red, puffy eyes in the mornings, it dawned on me that it would be a big loss to reject the love just because I had a schedule in mind.

With patience from the loved one, I’ve understood that humility is a more desirable virtue, which can help to discover the true nature of the partner. Humility makes you have one wish only – to be with your sweetheart whenever, wherever. Then love unfolds naturally.

I feel that the type of pride that would benefit in love relationships, it’s that one that manifests itself under the form of acts of love, such as saying wholeheartedly, “I am sorry!” or “You are right!”.

In a healthy love relationship, the pride can become a feel-good emotion about having a loved one in your life who helps you grow as a person!