What Are We Celebrating on Mother’s Day?

“The heartfelt connection we all yearn for is locked away within our everyday routine as parents, teachers, and friends.” Lawrence J.Cohen, Playful Parenting

On the second Sunday of May, Finland is one of the European countries that celebrates Mother’s Day.

“Mother’s Day Coffee Morning, Friday 10th of May, 8-10am. All mums, grandmothers, welcome for breakfast, circle and activity.”

This message was pinned at the entrance door of the daycare where my 5 year old is enrolled. Consequently, I cleared the morning work schedule. I also cleared the usual clutter of the mind and instead chose to focus on my kid. And what a lovely morning we had!

Stepping inside the daycare together, instead of giving an automatic goodbye hug at the locker room and rushing to work. Holding him in my lap during the morning circle. Letting him lead me to his favourite play areas. Engaging in different role plays with him. Eating from the same plate at the small table where he is having the snacks twice a day.

“It’s so nice to see the bond between the two of you!” one of the teachers commented as she passed by the table where we were eating.

We did have a moment of deep connection, which gave such a boost to the remaining part of the morning.

These mornings of connection can happen each day. If only I allow them by creating that space of mindfulness. It can be short and sweet. But those small minutes of synchronisation help maintain the mother-child bond.

In my world, starting with today, the Mothers’ Day is a reminder that the connection between mother and child should not be taken for granted.

 

So, Who Are You?

We are busy

Single people, people in relationships, people having a family – we buzz around all day long, in the pursuit of deeds that we perceive more or less meaningful.

Even the standard reply to the question “How are you?” has changed from “I am fine.” to “I am busy”. I wonder. Is it possible that we WANT to keep ourselves busy? Otherwise, how would we know what to do with ourselves? What thoughts and feelings would we have during half an hour of sitting in silence?

With whom to be better connected than with yourself?

When the evening comes and we put our head on the pillow, do we impersonate the wife, mother, student or subordinate that we were during daytime? Why not trying to find ourselves in the few minutes before sliding into the world of sleep?

What a treat at the end of the day, to reconnect to ourselves, to the joyous soul with which we came into this world! If we want to know why we came into this world, wouldn’t it be sensible to try to figure out who we were when we landed here? Who we were before we were damaged?

Maybe one night we get lucky and we feel our soul. We feel its core, its breath, and its wholeness. Who knows what else we would discover about who we truly are?

What if we don’t know how to reconnect to ourselves?

We need to look for help from the external environment so that we are put on the right track, which we would later follow on our own.

We need EXPOSURE. We need to start opening the channel that connects us to ourselves. For example, finding a group of people who are in a similar search and join them. Talk and discuss.

See the example of the Paphos Seminar, a one-week seminar on the psychology and philosophy of the good life, which has been organised twice a year for 18 years in Paphos, Cyprus by the philosopher Esa Saarinen (professor at Aalto University, Helsinki, Finland). The aim of the seminar is to help people “to construct their own ideas and to spread them internally”, “to open a broadband channel to people’ subjective sense of life orientation.” No ideas are imposed, simply a framework of philosophical ideas that offer food for thought. The participants are free to become emotional as they reflect upon different themes related to life, such as “present moment”, “love”, “choice” and “respect”. At the end of the seminar, each attendant discovers new insights into herself/himself.

The idea of this seminar can be replicated at a smaller case by you, me, by everyone. For example, how about gathering a group of friends with an interest in say, finding happiness, and discuss relevant books, every three months? (since we are busy people, maybe a more frequent interval for meetings is out of question.)

How about those ones of us who are too shy and too introvert for such sort of group activities? In this case, skipping the discussions and reading books on our own may equally help. Whatever works as long as we feel we have reached access the core of our souls.

Reflecting upon our life is enlightening the haze inside us. We don’t know why we are here but we should feel grateful for the life that was offered to us. Why not do the most with it and start by rescuing ourselves?