Why you owe to yourself to find your true self and what it implies

Being yourself is a complex but very crucial aspect of personal development. The discovery and then development of who you truly are can take a significant amount of time and shake up all your relationships. You may even have to stop doing whatever you’re doing to earn your living and start a completely new career.

Your true self, that inner voice that lives in you ever since the beginning of your earthly life, is very well hidden by the teachings of your parents and school and the influence of romantic partners and friends.

You want to please your parents and partner by obeying their wishes of who you should be. You want to be a good student and work hard even for subjects for which you don’t feel any inner motivation. You want to be appreciated by friends and you change your behaviour and attitude appropriately.

The emotional need to be loved and the social need to be accepted and appreciated silence the inner voice of being who you truly are – the human being who came into this life to live in authenticity, integrity, morality and freedom of expression.

If you are lucky, it comes a moment when you are awakened and you feel how the inner voice is vibrating in your body and talking to your soul. It can be that you are awakened after a moment when you face death or after a painful break-up. Then, you feel the need to escape from the roles that you’ve played so far and to start living according to how your inner voice guides you.

This inner voice is your connection to God, to the Higher Intelligence, and if you are wise to listen to it, it will bring you to the home of Divinity with every experience you start living as being your true self.

The first steps towards being yourself require courage. You’ll have to manage the confusion and disappointment of the loved ones who will start witnessing a new behaviour. Their expectations on you are no longer fulfilled. They’ll have to learn to accept your true nature and this may be extremely difficult for them.

You’ll also need tact and patience with your loved ones until they learn to appreciate the real you and your way of showing how you love them.

You’ll need strength when some friends stop contacting you because they see in you a different person, around whom they may not want to be. Actually, it does not matter why they don’t need your company anymore. The important and valuable aspect is that whatever you do as your true self is in alignment with your divine being.

Your thoughts and emotions purify and they’ll result in beneficial actions as well. In time, you’ll be surprised how much happier you’ll be with your relationships and professional life.

Becoming your true self does not happen overnight but if you stay faithful to the inner voice, you’ll eventually manage to break free from old and toxic habits, such as the need to be praised for doing things in which you don’t genuinely believe. You’ll laugh with all your heart and you’ll feel truly alive and in communion with God!

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Back to intuition

“The only real valuable thing is intuition.” – Albert Einstein

There are moments when we can hear it loud and clear, in our inner world. Yet, we don’t dare to follow it, we think that, “Maybe I’m wrong.” Then we regret it. What does it take from us to actually listen to our intuition?  

Reclaiming our gift

We were born with the gift of intuition, known also by the name of “gut feeling”. Both psychology and spirituality agree upon the effects that intuition has on our lives: it helps us, it improves our lives.

Carl Jung defined it as the perception of the unconscious. In his view, intuition is an irrational function that human beings possess and which, by an unconscious process, provides creative ideas and solutions to problems.

In books of spirituality, like Angela Artemis’s book, “The Intuition Principle: How to Attract the Life You Dream of “, intuition is defined as the higher type of knowledge which connects the earthly knowledge with God’s knowledge (called also Greater Intelligence knowledge). In other words, intuition is the knowledge which connects us to the source of life from where we came.

In light of my personal experiences, intuition is the inner voice that tells us what people and experiences are suitable for the harmonic growth of our true self.

No matter how we define it or what kind of role we assign to it, we know when we feel it.

Intuition can manifest itself in the form of pure joy when we are fulfilling our true destiny. For example, if someone offers us a job and we are overwhelmed with joy, then we know that our most reliable consultant, the intuition, has spoken to us. We want to take up that offer.

On the other hand, if we are hesitant about someone or something, then it may be better to avoid getting too involved.

Connecting to intuition is one thing, acting upon it is a totally different kettle of fish

In our house, the remote control is lost on a daily basis – my toddler likes to hide it each day in a different place. I like to let the intuition take me to the place where the remote control can be.

Every time, after a few moments of panic, I empty my mind and let the body be in charge. One day I found it in the cupboard, among the piles of dishes and pots.

Sometimes we choose to go against the intuition, relying more on other rational thoughts.

Last July, I rented my studio apartment to a 20-years-old man, despite my intuition. The first time I laid my eyes on him, my entire being screamed, “No! Don’t rent it to him!” Two months after signing the renting agreement, he stopped paying rent.

Six months passed before he was evicted from the flat. Ignoring my intuition, I offered to him free accommodation for half of a year.

In the blink of an eye, intuition informs us if a situation would be beneficial or unfavourable to us in time. It doesn’t take too long to let us know that we’ve just met the right person.

Yet, the people in our lives (who may have the best intentions at heart) and our own thoughts provide the background noise which makes some of us ignore the inner voice of intuition.

Learn to trust the intuition

The more information our brains absorb, the more infatuated we become about applying knowledge in our life. The inner voice of intuition is muffled.

We are taught that knowledge is power. Being well informed opens our mind to the world we live in. However, intuition gives us the eyes of wisdom to live meaningfully in any aspect of our life – love life, professional life, social life, spiritual life, etc.

Intuition may be patient with us, but once we choose to prioritise it over rational choices, it also requires some discipline from us:

  • to be aware of the inner voice.
  • to be brave to listen to it, to stick to it no matter what.
  • to be consistent and search for the opportunities that can lead to living genuine experiences.

We need to commit to our intuition if we want to live meaningfully.

What if intuition stops talking to us?

Tuning into our intuition is a life-term project. There are moments when it is silent and we may feel forsaken without it.

Yet, we need to relax. Let us meditate, if we have the chance. Let’s do things that we truly enjoy doing. Intuition will show up again, at the right time and place!

The day when we base our decisions on intuition, we open the door to authentic life experiences. Like other life experiences, there will be high and lows. Unlike other life experiences, there will be the joy of finally being able to discover ways of expressing our true self.

How about you, what do you rely mostly on intuition or reason when you make decisions in your life?

 

Who Said That It Is Easy To Follow Your Dreams?

The world is full of people who feel that their current job is not reflecting their values. The more the time passes, the bigger the gap is between who you are and how you earn your living. Your current job provides you a steady income to support your family’s needs. Yet, you feel you are withering inside each day when you step into your office. Your inner voice shouts inside, “Stop pretending! Find your true role in society, that role that represents who you really are!” You have two choices: ignore it or listen to it. Ignoring it means continuing a life of professional frustrations. What can happen if you listen to it?

Take as an example a mid-thirties woman who is a hairdresser but her dream is to become a medical nurse. How can she start the process that will lead to having her dream job? Take small steps to continually improve your life – this is the advice of Robert Maurer in his book, “One Small Step Can Change Your Life: The Kaizen Way“. Based on my own experience, the first step is the most difficult in this kind of situations.

Moving away from your comfort zone may be the most daring action you’ll ever do (if we don’t count the one when you get married). Fear is the biggest impediment. In order to overcome the fear, you may want to develop a new set of beliefs. Patience is a virtue so try to exercise it during the transition to your new profession. Any long lasting change takes time to grow and get carved in you. For example, when you study for a new diploma, you might need to invest at least 3 years of your life. The steep learning curve in the beginning may be damn scary. Don’t worry too much! Beginnings are difficult, even the beginnings that you cooked up for years. The effort of learning will be compensated by the authentic joy of doing something you love doing.

When you make the first step, believe from the bottom of your heart that you will succeed and trust that God will support your initiative. If you’ll say to yourself that you’ll succeed many times, you’ll end up believing it!

Optimistic beliefs are the remedy for the inherent fears that some of us have when we start a new chapter in life. Be kind to yourself and accept the moments when fear is taking over. It is human to be afraid, so smile at your fear. It will go away so it’s important to stay focused on your short-term goals. For example, financial insecurity may be a recurring fear. Provided you quit your job, the financial responsibility for the family rests upon your spouse. Again, think positively: this is only temporary. Trust that the Universe will unravel to you the opportunities that you need at the right time and place.

Support from family and friends is needed like drinking water in hot days. Start talking with them about your fears and your plans. Since people change, you may be dismayed to discover that the persons who you thought would support you, turn out to be judgemental. My mother thought I went all nuts when I told her I am thinking of a career change. Reassess the relationships you have with the dear ones and keep on collecting members for your support group. Another option is to join initiatives like B.J. Fogg’s Tiny Habits – if you have the opportunity (http://www.oprah.com/spirit/The-Fastest-Way-to-Make-Change-How-to-Change-Your-Life/2). But if your spouse supports you, you don’t need anyone else’s support. Of course, there is a bonus if you have several persons’ support. More shoulders to cry on, in your moments of despair.

When you finally make your decision public, the other small steps will follow more smoothly. You may find useful Robert Maurer‘s six general strategies to tackle the change: 1. asking small questions to get rid of the fear and become creative; 2. thinking small thoughts to develop new skills and habits; 3. taking small actions that guarantee success; 4. solving small problems even when you are overwhelmed; 5. rewarding yourself or others; 6. recognising the small but crucial moments that everyone else ignores.

Once the fear is under control, you’ll feel your wings spreading. You are a butterfly in search of new knowledge, new people with whom you can cooperate and jobs to suit you. Your life enriches as a result of the new professional relationships that you are building.

You grow and glow as your new career kicks off. Expect that there will be challenges but they’ll feel less heavy. You finally do the job you believe in! Good luck!