How can we understand others better?

Can you really understand someone in terms of what she’s feeling, what behaviours she may adopt or what perceptions of the world she might have? To push the limits of human empathy, it may be helpful to consciously ignore everything you think you know about yourself and the ones around you and get curious again.

If we could all do that, the world would be a place where people lived in harmony, understanding each other’s inner worlds.

In reality, it’s more challenging to understand another human being on a deeper level, even those close to us! You may think that the longer you’ve known someone, the more evidence you have collected about what kind of a person she is. The historical facts show that she is decent and reliable.

Moreover, with the help of your empathic skills, you can feel how she feels and together you feel as one. But when you disapprove of her behaviour and get disappointed, you may feel that there is a world apart between you and her. Two close people turn into strangers.

You may not be aware of the fact that the disagreement regarding a particular behaviour can be rooted in moral values, cultural beliefs and other social conditioning that we are raised with and affects what we like and how we perceive the world.

Therefore, if we truly want to understand others, we need to become aware of our personal conditioning. For example, in Western cultures, when someone dies, it can be considered disrespectful if the close family of the departed one are wearing other colour than black. In Asian cultures, people wear white at funerals, which symbolises passing into heaven.

Now, what would happen if at a Western funeral, the wife of the deceased man wore red? Probably the rest of the close family would stop talking to her.

Getting rid of our conditioning may be a mission close to impossible for some of us. It may require years of meditation and spiritual search, which is not everyone’s cup of tea.

Alternatively, we can try to understand other people needs and desires and how they change over time. We do have the empathic skills that can be practiced to ask the appropriate questions about what others like and how they see the world. Once we are informed in this respect, we can learn to accept them without any judgement.

Maybe the widow wanted to express through red the intensity of her love for her dead husband? Or that she will still love him beyond death?

Above all, what counts the most is to look beyond behaviour and feel the true nature of a person. If the widow has a truly compassionate and loving nature, which reflected in the relationships with the rest of the family, then maybe the family members will focus on her affection and be less judgemental about her red garment.

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Why we should be careful about judging others

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Why we should be more careful about judging others

Being judgemental about everyone and everything that happens around us limits our abilities to understand the diversity among the human beings. Judging the behaviour of neighbours, work colleagues or friends in front of others with whom we are in close relationships can be a personal choice to maintain the bond with those close to us. Even more, women who gossip are happier, according to a study at the University of Michigan. But, being judgemental with the loved ones can ultimately affect negatively everyone involved.

I doubt there is a human being who likes to be judged. At least, I and the persons that I know dislike to hear criticism from others regarding our actions and behaviours.

Why does it bother us to hear that we did something wrong in other person’s opinion? Are we afraid that our freedom of expression is being constrained? After all, it’s simply a point of view expressed by someone. Whatever the reason, we do get hurt by criticism and without being aware, we fight judgement with judgement.

Everybody is fast at judging others, and I am not an exception. It is human to observe and form opinions about the people around us, and especially those close to us will hear more of these opinions with less sugar coating. For example, a wife can tell to her husband, “You did wrong when you didn’t inform me about being late”.

The Bible strongly advocates for not judging others, “Judge not, and you will not be judged.” (Luke 6:37), “who are you to judge your neighbour.“(James 4:11-12)

“One person believes he may eat anything, while the weak person eats only vegetables. Let not the one who eats despise the one who abstains, and let not the one who abstains pass judgement on the one who eats, for God has welcomed him.” (Romans 14:1-13)

The point of reference for judging is our inner world of beliefs, principles, and emotions. When other people actions don’t fit with our reality, we disapprove them.

We could try to refrain from speaking out loud our judgemental thoughts, especially to those people close to us. But if our tongues are tingling with words of judgement and we speak our mind, it’d be for everyone’s best to do it with reservation and with the presumption that our opinions are not the objective truth.

In the above example, when the wife scolds her husband for not informing that he’d be late, it would make a huge difference for the mood of both of them if she humbly assumed that she does not have complete information about what happened in her husband’s mind and what experience he had. So, she would be wiser if she asked, “So, what happened?”

Instead of snappy judgement, we could give credit to the other one that he acted based on his best abilities at that time. We empower the people we love when we show them that we trust them to manage their lives the best they can.

Admittedly, we would behave differently in the same situation, but everyone reacts in their unique way to the same event.

Therefore, by spelling out our judgements on the loved ones puts us on a higher moral ground and belittles their abilities to manage their life. This may result in relationship conflict where negative emotions, such as the sense of disapproval take time to sort out.

Relationships improve when we accept the differences in behaviour and actions between us and the loved ones. Asking questions with empathy and compassion sharpen our insight into the world of others and help us see that there is richness in looking at life through the lens of others.

Next time when we are tempted to be judgemental, let’s first try to understand the other one and then judge. If after understanding her husband the wife still wants to express her opinion, she could say, “I would have felt better if you called.”

You may also like reading:

The art of helping through conversation

How can a family relationship continue after a big disappointment?

Why we should stay cool in front of others envy

Time to take, time to give

 

Why you owe to yourself to find your true self and what it implies

Being yourself is a complex but very crucial aspect of personal development. The discovery and then development of who you truly are can take a significant amount of time and shake up all your relationships. You may even have to stop doing whatever you’re doing to earn your living and start a completely new career.

Your true self, that inner voice that lives in you ever since the beginning of your earthly life, is very well hidden by the teachings of your parents and school and the influence of romantic partners and friends.

You want to please your parents and partner by obeying their wishes of who you should be. You want to be a good student and work hard even for subjects for which you don’t feel any inner motivation. You want to be appreciated by friends and you change your behaviour and attitude appropriately.

The emotional need to be loved and the social need to be accepted and appreciated silence the inner voice of being who you truly are – the human being who came into this life to live in authenticity, integrity, morality and freedom of expression.

If you are lucky, it comes a moment when you are awakened and you feel how the inner voice is vibrating in your body and talking to your soul. It can be that you are awakened after a moment when you face death or after a painful break-up. Then, you feel the need to escape from the roles that you’ve played so far and to start living according to how your inner voice guides you.

This inner voice is your connection to God, to the Higher Intelligence, and if you are wise to listen to it, it will bring you to the home of Divinity with every experience you start living as being your true self.

The first steps towards being yourself require courage. You’ll have to manage the confusion and disappointment of the loved ones who will start witnessing a new behaviour. Their expectations on you are no longer fulfilled. They’ll have to learn to accept your true nature and this may be extremely difficult for them.

You’ll also need tact and patience with your loved ones until they learn to appreciate the real you and your way of showing how you love them.

You’ll need strength when some friends stop contacting you because they see in you a different person, around whom they may not want to be. Actually, it does not matter why they don’t need your company anymore. The important and valuable aspect is that whatever you do as your true self is in alignment with your divine being.

Your thoughts and emotions purify and they’ll result in beneficial actions as well. In time, you’ll be surprised how much happier you’ll be with your relationships and professional life.

Becoming your true self does not happen overnight but if you stay faithful to the inner voice, you’ll eventually manage to break free from old and toxic habits, such as the need to be praised for doing things in which you don’t genuinely believe. You’ll laugh with all your heart and you’ll feel truly alive and in communion with God!

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Who Said That It Is Easy To Follow Your Dreams?

So, Who Are You?

Friends Will Be Friends – Is It Really So?

When expecting from others, remember the joy of not expecting

Back to intuition

How can we fight the expectations of dear ones on us?

Writing down your way out of an upsetting health problem

Writing down your way out of an upsetting health problem

When you face a serious health problem, you may experience a cocktail of feelings like disbelief, despair, regrets, fear, belief and hope. You start reevaluating your life. You may also feel genuine thankfulness about being alive, which may push you into taking a new direction of life as soon as you get well.

If health has previously been taken for granted, now you feel a deep appreciation for having a healthy body. Small and insignificant moments, such as watching a movie with the family or going for a walk on a sunny day, start to be special and genuine sources of joy.

The tormenting issues you dealt with in relationships lose their importance. They become tiny details of life in front death.

When you fight to bring your body back to balance, it’s a good time to write down your feelings in your diary or computer or wherever you feel safe to entrust your most intimate thoughts.

In addition to putting down on paper your emotions in such an upsetting moment of life, you may also want to embrace a new perspective on life by writing about:

What is the new person that you want to transform into?

What are you going to do in order to bring the balance between your mind, body and soul?

How do you want to maintain the connection between you and God (or the Universe or the Super Intelligence – call it however you wish)?

What kind of life would you like to have as a healthy new you?

How would you express your gratefulness for what you have in your life?

Who are the people and what are the activities that will take your time?

What is the first thing that you will do as the healthy new you?

Answering these questions (among others) is a part of the healing process. But there is something more. You’ll have to promise to yourself to commit wholeheartedly to make it happen.

When life gets back on the good track, you may forget about the resolutions you thought about when going through hard times. You may fall back into the trap of the old emotional patterns and behaviours. Reading your own thoughts scribbled down in times of pure gratefulness of life may remind you of the importance of continuing with the change of lifestyle.

When you get lost in the tiny details of life all over again, reading your thoughts originated in hard times may help you think simple – only health and love matter.

Reminding yourself how you envisioned your life in a moment of genuine appreciation of life is maybe one of the best ways to become aware of the personal blockages that keep you away from being the best that you can be in body, mind and soul!

The art of helping through conversation

It’s never too late to admit that you make mistakes in managing a discussion with a friend or family member who comes to confess to you. Listening in the right way and asking the right questions can make her feel supported during the conversation. Yet, this sounds easier than it actually is.

When a friend or a family member opens up to me about her problems, I am inclined to chime in with my brilliant suggestions. I get excited that I know how to fix her problems. After all, “I know what she’s taking about, I’ve been going through the very exact experience!”

It took me half of a lifetime to understand that such thinking is a big mistake because it keeps a dear person from opening up to you.

It’s wrong to believe you understand your friend’s predicament. It’s wrong to believe you know exactly how she feels.

When you get confident that you know what’s her problem, you start listening only to the words.

But if you want to be helpful, you’d rather start by admitting that you can never know how a loved one feels about a particular situation. You may have experienced a similar problem. You may have a great connection with her. Despite all that, your subjective realities are different. You relate to people and the surrounding reality in your unique way.

Therefore, it’s safer to assume that you don’t know how she feels. You can only guess but keep it in mind that that’s only your perspective.

If you want to understand better her perspective, you need to empty your mind about your own experiences and points of view and listen as if you were born yesterday. This way you can refrain from giving advice. Even the advice based on the best intentions, puts the other one in defence and she’ll be even further from finding a solution to her problem.

Sometimes the advice can be said in a judgmental tone, which may make the other one feel belittled or disregarded, and ultimately not interested in continuing the discussion.

Instead, practice the best empathic listening that your emotional intelligence can allow. More important than the words that she’s using, the key to tuning into her feelings is to understand why she is telling those words.

When you understand the feelings that underlie the spoken words, you are able to ask questions that can help the dear one figure the problem out by herself.

Therefore, it’s crucial for an effective help to be careful with what kind of questions you ask. For example, when she tells you, “I am so tired to work long days.” instead of saying, “Why do you work so much then?”, it’s better to ask, “I believe it is tiring to work long days.” By repeating the words that the other one just said, you lay the foundation for empathic dialogue.

The latter affirmation is supportive of the frustration feeling and signals to her that you are willing to listen.

Since you can never know how another person feels, the least you can try is to understand what kind of emotions the other one experiences related to a particular issue. Asking empathic questions may help the other one feel she is not alone in times of trouble.

If you are clumsy with words or if your best listening does not seem to help, you can ask sincerely, “I’d like to help you, so please show me how I can do that.”

Being humble in relationships is not a sign of weakness or vulnerability, but a sign that you care about the other person and you want to build a strong and authentic relationship.

In the end, it may turn out that the best support you can provide is to be there with all your being. After all, the deepest relationship is when you can sit in silence and feel the harmony between your souls.

 

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How Faithfully Do Words Reflect Our Emotions?

The wisdom of the leaves

At the end of the Summer, I start missing the warm days with plenty of sunshine and colourful flowers. To me, Autumn used to be the season that brings the cold and dark days, culminating in the freezing days of Winter. This Autumn, I opened my eyes to another aspect of the season which prepares the nature for hibernation.

I have the tendency to forget how beautiful nature is in the Autumn. The most talented painter could not paint as stunning an Autumn landscape as the nature does it. In October when the grass is still green, and the trees are changing colours, some of the early falling leaves masterfully decorate the grass, better than any interior designer.

Some trees whose leaves are sometimes golden like mini suns, and sometimes fiery, are so breathtaking that every single one of them would deserve a poem. I’d love to be the one writing a poem, at least for one. Unfortunately, their beauty puts a spell on my soul and silences my mind. I have the urge to kneel in front of such a magnificent tree and hug its trunk.

Some of the leaves that are scattered on the ground have not withered yet; they still catch the eye with their rusty colours. There is so much dignity in how they end their life.

There is also acceptance of the inevitable end, in the way they lie on the ground allowing people to trample on them.

Eventually, the less lucky ones are carried away by the wind to a place far away where they wither alone. They experience their last adventure during which they see a more dynamic version of the world compared to the static perspective they’ve been accustomed to.

But other leaves stick around the tree that nurtured them. That’s where they’ll dry out. But not before passing on the tree their secret – how they face the end with beauty and dignity.

The tree will guard their secret for the leaves that will bud the following year. At the right time, it will reveal the information to the new leaves, which will then know to put on their best garment before letting themselves fall into the unknown of afterlife.

 

Human connection – a beautiful and rare thing

One of the most miraculous aspects of life is the human connection that people are able to establish with one another. When you feel emotional connection, soul connection or mind connection to another human being, life becomes more meaningful. Yet, strong connections are rare to find, especially when the people around seem to be satisfied living disconnected.

 

Loving someone with whom you have a strong human connection is one of the most precious gifts that life can offer to you. Feeling his moods, being able to read his thoughts, hearing him speak out the very same thing you yourself were thinking are examples of such a connection which is not a fiction of Hollywood movies. It can happen for real and when it does, you get the feeling of being one with your man and with God.

Having a sibling, a parent or a close friend with whom you exchange text messages at the same time or who calls you few minutes after you’ve thought about them give the feeling of belonging to a group of individuals for whom you’re important.

When an authentic human connection exists between two people, time and distance can’t weaken it. For example, on the rare occasions when I meet a former university friend who lives in another country, it feels very natural to spend time together. We talk as if we met yesterday – the connection is there, we just update it with the physical presence.

Human connection may be so valuable to me because I find it is such a rare thing to find. I live in a world where I feel disconnected from most of the people I interact with on a daily basis.

Based on Dr. Brene Brown‘s studies on human connection, there are two types of people. There are people with a strong sense of love and belonging and to whom it is easy to connect to. And there are other people who struggle for such a sense.

Intuitively, I feel that there is another type of people who don’t even struggle for a sense of connection because they don’t have the need to belong to anyone or anything. They are some kind of human lynx who enjoy the solitude of their fortresses.

How can someone with a strong need of love and belonging, survive in a place inhabited mostly by human lynxes?

To my mind, the solution is to never stop looking for people with whom it is easy and natural to connect. It may be as hard as swimming in the Grand Canyon, but it is worthwhile. Because a life without strong connections is a life spent superficially where people are just polite with each other (in the best case), but they don’t bother to tune into each other to feel their inner most beings.

There was a time when I was against social media as a means of connecting to people. After further consideration, I find it to be a great means to virtually connect with groups of people of similar interests. And if you are daring enough to meet some of these people in person, you may be rewarded by finding a friend for life.

Then again, strong connections can’t be forced. They are there before two people even meet. They only get activated when the meeting occurs. Therefore, until you are blessed with meeting such a person, pray in silence while you are living the best that you can. Serendipity can make it happen and while you’re waiting in line at the supermarket, you will meet someone with whom you will discover a special connection.

I believe you are meant to meet some people. They are like some fallen Angels who come into your life to cherish you and take you to your next level of personal growth.

So, if you are one of the people with strong need to connect and if you are surrounded by other type of folks, you should not stop believing that you’ll survive until the next encounter with a wonderful person with whom you’ll connect and sparkle!

I’d love to hear your perspective. How easy is it for you to connect to people? Why is it or isn’t important for you to connect to others?  

 

 

How can a family relationship continue after a big disappointment?

Our relatives can sometimes disappoint us. However, looking deeper into the disappointment can bring you closer to truth and may be a stepping stone to a more authentic relationships.

 

The first stage of disappointment

We are tempted to believe that others are the way we perceive them.

This can happen especially among the family; a strong bond with a family member can make you blind to see the true nature of the other one.

The numerous memories might give you the feeling you truly know the person. But the memories are essentially static while the person is continuously changing.

In my opinion, if you assume you know how the other one will behave, you are setting yourself up for a disillusionment. It will come a time when you are taken aback by a broken promise, a lie, or an unexpected behaviour – something that does not fit your image on him.

In your reality, he is pure and courageous. How could he possibly do so such a thing to you? Disappointment settles in, erodes the trust in the other person, and it leaves you confused about what kind of bond you’re having.

“The principles of living greatly include the capacity to face trouble with courage, disappointment with cheerfulness and trial with humility.” Thomas S. Monson

Daily conversations of shared intimacy, which used to be something to look forward to, turn into superficial dialogues. The mind becomes suspicious and doubts even what can be the truth.

If this relationship was only friendship, maybe it would have been easier to let it go. But when a blood tie is involved, things are different. All those vivid memories of the past when you two were there for each other, when life seemed to have more sense when you were together, can’t be simply deleted.

Yet, the bitterness of the present disappointment taints those memories.

What does the disappointment tell about the other one and the bond you’re having?

“If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment.” Henry David Thoreau

After living with disappointment in your heart for some time, you may be enlightened to see that there is another truth about the other one, you and consequently the relationship. Questioning the motives for which he disappointed you helps to see a bigger slice of the truth than before.

If before you felt you were very connected, it’s time to reconsider the space you are ready to give in the relationship. You need space to heal after the disappointment. The other one needs space to sort out whatever is going on with him.

Whether you want to have an open confrontation before taking the space, that’s entirely up to you and how you feel about talking about a sensitive topic when the wound is still open.

But, silently taking some space can help to ponder in peace over your feelings towards the other one and how can the relationship continue.

The foundations of the relationship have been shaken up, it needs new grounds to be rebuilt on. The other one may not be perfect, but hey, you are not perfect either. You may not make the same mistakes as he did, but most likely you can make other mistakes.

There are two important aspects in rebuilding the foundations of the bond. The first is the willingness to give another chance to the other one to be trusted. The second aspect is the patience to endure the suspicions until the trust is back.

The bright side is that when your perception on the other one is closer to the truth, your relationship is ready to move to another level with more authenticity involved.

 

The first pregnancy – the beginning of a different you

One of the laws of nature is that women are built so that they can carry babies in their wombs. At the same time with the new life who develops inside you, you go through irreversible inner changes, too. The nine months of pregnancy, which end with the labour, are only the beginning of expecting the unexpected in terms of how you will relate to the world as a mother.

Whatever happens during pregnancy, remember that when it ends, you get to hold your baby in your arms

I expected to experience more sudden shifts of emotions, which happened alright. On top of that, when my mind needed it most, it would become void of thoughts. The self-image of a person who remembers everything had to change in face of new evidence, such as forgetting the house/office keys and friends names. When having group discussions, I would start expressing my ideas but the more I talked, the more I would feel I fail to make others get my point. Looking people in the eyes who cluelessly nodded was even more discouraging.

The notorious morning sickness made it harder to be on a good mood. The changes of my body shape made me feel ugly and doubt that I would be attractive for my man. And the cherry on top of the cake was the depression that affected me.

In the first trimester, instead of being super, extra happy, I started painting the world around me in black. I was even wondering whether I am in the right relationship. It helped to talk with my doctor who told me that some women get depressed during pregnancy. I was lucky, it ended after the first trimester.

I never imagined I would feel out of place going to restaurants, but as my belly started growing, I did feel that others were looking at me as in “your place is at home, mommy!”. Leaving aside the fact that my mouth was watering when seeing friends eating whatever they wanted and having a glass of wine. Who would have guessed that I would feel isolated?

For an extrovert person, the feeling of loneliness is unbearable. I started looking for a group of pregnant women with whom to share feelings of pregnancy. I joined a class of yoga for pregnant ladies and that was a genius idea. Each class used to give a boost of energy in addition to the energy that I got from socialising with other future mothers.

As the labour day was approaching, I started reading books about giving birth. I wanted to know everything about the birth positions and the relaxation tricks that you can possibly use during labour. I came up with a plan of how I wanted my labour to develop.

When the day came, the pain made me forget about everything I had planned. I had to surrender and let the labour happen as my body was able to handle it. When I was taking a shower after giving birth, I fainted. I felt when they put me in a wheel chair, and as I was regaining my sight, I felt a warm bundle in my arms. I opened widely my eyes and there he was, depending on me to carry him safely to our room.

The bond

As I was trying hard not to drop my baby, I finally realised that I have a new big role – that of a mother. The nine months of pregnancy were not enough to come to this realisation.

Almost two years passed and we have been apart for a half a day, three days in a row. It’s absolutely fascinating how a tiny human being can absorb you so much that you forget about your individuality.

Until three days ago, I unconsciously rejoiced being the indispensable person for him, the one whose name he calls first when he wakes up, when he wants food or when he is in trouble.

Three days ago, I organised a play date with one of his favourite friends, a girl that I’ll call Emma. We were walking towards the playground when he let go of my hand and he grabbed Emma’s hand. It was a strange feeling to be aware of the present but envision the future of how our live will change.

His father and I will remain behind and he’ll go out there in the world, living his life with the girl that his heart has chosen.

It may sound an exaggeration, but I felt useless, unimportant and forgotten. I could not help thinking of the role of mothers in Italian culture, where for men, their mothers are the queens. I wished we lived in Italy.

After giving more thought to it, I concluded that I’ll chose to play a humble role in my child’s life – to be there when needed without asking for anything in return, except maybe a phone call once a week.

The way towards independence starts, being paved with mother’s tears. He’ll go to daycare and I’ll continuously think of him, “Is he happy?”, “Does he have good friends over there?”, “Is he well taken care of?”.

At night, I admire his Angel face framed perfectly by the darkness of the room. I want to compensate for the time when he is away.

 

How about you? How did the motherhood change you?

You may also like to read the following posts:

What Does It Means To Be a Parent?

How can mothers relax

Carpe Diem? Yes, please, but how?

It’s never easy to be a woman

When negativity sneaked into my heart

Do we know what to expect when we decide to be stay at home mothers?

The Voice that whispered “you are pregnant”

 

 

 

 

Pride, virtue or sin in love?

In love relationships, you show the most vulnerable side of you – most loving, sensitive, gentle, and passionate than you could ever imagine you could be. The same vulnerability can intensify the pride in you. The problem is that excessive pride can be reflected into negative behaviours. Therefore, if you want to have a happy relationship, you can choose to use the positive side of pride.

Pride is a human emotion with many definitions based on how proud people behave. When pride is “the feeling that you respect yourself and you deserve to be respected by other people” or “a feeling of happiness that you get when you or someone you know does something good or difficult“, the consequences are positive. You are confident, hard-working and an example for others.

Maybe this is the type of pride that ancient Greeks had in mind when they classified pride as “the crown of virtues“. A proud man was worthy of great things.

At the same time, pride can be “a feeling that you are more important or better than other people“, in which case it is associated with conceit, vanity and disdain. This type of pride is considered in Christianity, “the deadliest of the Seven deadly sins!“.

I believe it’s good to have pride – provided you are able to moderate it and use it for the purpose of your personal growth. Pride in moderation can make you feel good about who you are, fuel your self-esteem and confidence. It can motivate you to achieve and to create while maintaining your sense of modesty. The mix of pride and modesty results in accomplishments reached because you want to live a meaningful life, and not because you want to show off.

For the sake of the happiness in love relationship, it’s important to be aware of your pride – when to unleash it and when to muffle it. Most of the times, putting each other down and replying to insults with other insults is a short-term solution, spun in the heat of the debate. But, in the long run, the love can disappear.

I’ve experienced such romances where I forgave harsh words, I gave yet another chance until the drop of pride left in me shouted, “Move on with your life!”. I’ve been saved by the feeling, “Because you’re worth it!”, just like they say in the L’Oreal ads.

The time came for good romance as well when patience was needed to let the relationship breathe. Yet, my pride shattered the joy of feeling pure love. My pride compelled me to push the relationship where I thought I wanted it to be. This of course caused a lot of conflicts.

After sleepless nights, heartaches and red, puffy eyes in the mornings, it dawned on me that it would be a big loss to reject the love just because I had a schedule in mind.

With patience from the loved one, I’ve understood that humility is a more desirable virtue, which can help to discover the true nature of the partner. Humility makes you have one wish only – to be with your sweetheart whenever, wherever. Then love unfolds naturally.

I feel that the type of pride that would benefit in love relationships, it’s that one that manifests itself under the form of acts of love, such as saying wholeheartedly, “I am sorry!” or “You are right!”.

In a healthy love relationship, the pride can become a feel-good emotion about having a loved one in your life who helps you grow as a person!